The Crazy

So... I say it all the time: I'm crazy. I'm insane. I'm a lunatic. I'm mad.
But, while I'm definitely out of the norm, I do like to think I have full control of all my faculties. Still.. I have sort of "crazy phases" in my life. I'm not so sure I'd say it's me who goes crazy, but crazy things happen. All at once. It may not be this way in reality; it may be me submitting to confirmation bias, or it may just be a little bit of coincidence.
Regardless, though, it's all very odd to me. I sensed it the day with the circus music. A different brand of crazy in my mind. Then the weird dream with the cubbies. Last night I had another weird dream...
I was walking to my father's house- or my grandfather's house- which is actually my grandmother's house, because my grandfather is deceased. I got a ways there, perhaps a couple of miles, but realized that I wouldn't be able to walk there and back before nightfall. I decided that I'd need my bike, but I didn't have it with me. There was a man, however, who stopped me and who said he had a bike to lend me. So I was there for several uncomfortable hours while the man showed me different things about the bike, and towards the end I began to wonder if he'd want some sick sort of repayment. I tried to think of escape routes, and eventually my mother came to pick me up in her car, and by then it was nightfall. The creepy man tried to kiss me goodbye, which bothered me very greatly. I consented to a family- like kiss on the cheek. He tried to kiss me again, and I turned and twisted away, wanting desperately to leave. That was the end of that dream. Now if this dream wasn't weird enough by itself, my mother told me this morning of a very disturbed looking man walking into her work yesterday, looking for the police. They redirected him to the police department and called the woman there to forewarn her. She, being simply a secretary, called a sheriff to come and wait with her. The man said he was turning himself in for rape.
I also had another dream where it was my first day of school and everything got messed up. Classes misplaced, people disappearing. I talked to one of my friends and she said something that surprised me greatly, though I don't remember what...
Oh- and that family friend that passed away? My mother had been thinking of him all day, and on the way home from the restaurant, before we found out about his death, she deliberately took a route that passed his house...

So perhaps the crazy is returning. I don't know. I sort of hope not, because I tend to think that it's almost entirely some cycle of psychological disturbances within myself. And last time I got that way, I was a very different person,with a great many more issues that I have now. and I refuse to go back there. I strongly believe that that which does not kill you makes you stronger, but it was a special mix of numbness and luck that it didn't kill me. And I know full well that if I allowed myself to regress, I most likely would not survive the second run.